empty room

so today i wished you were home for selfish reasons. i wished you were here so you could tell me i would be fine. i know time heals everything but maybe i just wanted to hear it from your voice. i wanted to know i wasn't crazy. i wanted to erase everything except for me & you standing there before you had to leave. i wanted to feel ok, safe again. i wanted to be myself. & then i realized i'm not even sure who "myself" is anymore. it took two seconds for me to realize that maybe i didn't have a plan anymore. i was completely free. i had no choices tying me down or pulling me back. i realized the getaway i wanted was here, and instead of running all i was doing was standing there trying to figure out why you weren't running with me. wondering why you didn't say anything. why you were ok with letting me leave. i felt like i was in an empty room & you had already vanished.