ugh.

this is exactly how i feel about you today. 

Running

i feel in love with her because she made me nervous, a little out of place, uneasy even. she was my adventure in a world that i had made so monotonous. i craved her in a selfish unloving way. & as distant as she is now a part of me still feels her. she engulfs your soul and throws you up like stars in the sky. she pushes & you push back until there is this magnificent explosion shaking your very being. i'm a runner and that's all I'll ever be. 

my idea of beautiful

my heart has 4 empty rooms. 3 wait for lightening & one waits for you. i miss our late nights when we would just stay awake forever & confess everything all of our little secrets, lies, & loves like the sun was never coming back up. like those few hours were all we had left & we had nothing better to do but confess everything. we weren't saving the world we were saving ourselves & maybe for those few hours that's all that  really mattered. everything else faded away & it was just you & me under our blankets wrapped in our thoughts making new dreams. you will & always have been my idea of beautiful.