sometimes i think about us sitting in the car by ourselves that day and how it was so quite. & you looked at me and said this is our last trip together. i just laughed you off because i didn't want to believe you. i didn't want to think about us without you. me without you. & now i'm sitting here planning our next trip and you were right. you aren't here. if i could go back for 2 seconds i wouldn't let you go. i guess that's the hard thing about life, we don't get to make those decisions. i know we'll be leaving soon and part of moving on is doing the things we've always done together without you. & i hate the words "without you". there are so many moments when i wish i had you here. its like a hole or a empty spot and trying to understand that it will never be filled is something i don't want to wrap my mind around.
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