You are reading In my head right now.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

In my head right now.

today i wish you were home. i wish you were just here nearby. i know this may sound insane, but you may be the only person that knows what i feel like. i feel like i keep looking for something familiar, something thats like home & i can't find it. i go home & it's empty & everythings changed. I feel like i left when i was 19 & i can't go back & that makes my heart hurt. she graduated this weekend & it's been 6 months since she's been gone. I was thinking everything was going to be perfect when she came back. she was my everything & as i was laying beside her & she was sleeping i felt like i was beside a stranger. some girl i had saw a few times, but never really got to know. i wish i could go back, back to when i knew she was my everything & when i felt like i was hers. people change & all we have are our memories of who they once use to be. Memories of what we loved, what we miss. None of that's there anymore just empty shells being molded into something else. my mind keeps reminding me we are constantly changing, evolving, but my heart keeps hoping that there is a little spark of what use to be still left behind & maybe if i wait around long enough it will find it's way back up. maybe it's in there fighting to get its way out. maybe it's just covered with junk like feelings, pride, hurt, maybe. itsn't it funny how that maybe changes everything. it makes everything stop. maybe she's still there, maybe my heart says.
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